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The Thread S5Ep12: The E3 2014 Review

Remember that feeling you got as a child when you found a new video game console underneath the Christmas tree? The Thread still gets that feeling every June with E3. We talk about the big game reveals from Sony, Microsoft, EA, Ubisoft, and Nintendo. Video game boners for all our friends!

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No Kryptonite in “Man of Steel”?

MARK: I just read an article about “Man of Steel” on Yahoo.  Apparently there will be no kryptonite in the movie.

MIKE: ….wha wha?

ERIC: Good.  It’s a tired old plot device.

MIKE: My guess/hope is that they’re not ruling it out as a ‘thing’, but just saying it’s not in this movie… made much more tired by the kryptonite island-thing in Superman Returns

MARK: Um….Tired old plot device.  It is a major piece comic book/movie knowledge and “truth”.  It is a BIG piece of his story line!

MIKE: Yeah. It’ll be back in in the sequel, either way. Probably more of a thing for the eventual Lex Luthor to use, if anything.

MARK: Hey, I agree the kryptonite island was pretty bad.  It’s like saying underneath the surface of an island there is this hand wheel and when turned makes the island disappear and/or move somewhere else.  However, it is still a major part to the storyline.

MIKE: Hey!  That was totally based on….something!

MARK: Well no doubt but seeing we were all influenced by “Superman II” it was a major piece to how the General and his cronies were defeated.

MIKE: My Pollyanna wish is that they never even mentioned any sort of specific details about the movie. I think the trailers are as good of an appetite wetter as one will find. ZERO need to officially mention that kryptonite isn’t in the movie. Also, there may be an ‘official’ announcement coming soon that Nolan and Christian Bale will have nothing to do w/Man of Steel, let alone whatever becomes of Justice League. Way to keep us on the hook, WB.

MARK: Just give me Iron Man 3 and be done with it.  It’s been one crap fest after another.

MIKE: Harrumph!

SCOTT: Until he needs to fight a human, no kryptonite needed. I’ll allow it.

MARK: Of course you would.  It will end up a perpetual seemingly unending fight between the two until a mirror somehow shows up out of nowhere (aka phantom zone) and Superman somehow gets the General in it.

SCOTT: …. And that’s why Kryptonians are scared of their own reflection.

ERIC: Anybody ever wonder why Superman never wove some sort of lead fabric into his suit to, you know, protect him from the kryptonite?

SCOTT: Duh! It wouldn’t protect his face. Moron.

ERIC: He could make a suit.  With a helmet.  Sure, lead is heavy, but he’s Superman.

MARK: It would be too cumbersome.  It would be like fighting in suits of armor.  Range of motion would be limited as well as sight.

SCOTT: Helmet still doesn’t protect his entire face. You of all people should know this considering you should probably be wearing one at all times.

ERIC: Not if he came up with a way to weave or infuse the lead molecules into fabric.  He could make a mask.  Plus, again, he’s Superman.  Weight wouldn’t be a factor.

MARK: I was not talking about the weight because the guy can pick up a frickin’ building without breaking a sweat but his range of motion will still be limited and his sight will still be limited due to the fact the fabric is made out of lead.

SCOTT: So he’d have to invent see-thru lead? Plus, Eric how do you know it already isn’t woven with lead into the suit. Have you read the label?

ERIC: His eyes would probably be vulnerable, yes.  But not his whole body.  He could still fly away if there was kryptonite.  Sure, he’d probably bump into a few things…..

MARK: I agree there will be a window of opportunity for him to fly away before the effects of the kryptonite consume him.

SCOTT: It would just be easier to get kryptonite allergy shots. Eric’s argument is stupid.

MARK: Yeah, kryptonite allergy shots are a winning argument.  You have been hanging out with Suff too long.

ERIC: Right, genius.  There would have to be kryptonite in the room for his skin to allow the needle to pass through and administer the shot.  You dumb, you so dumb.

SCOTT: He’s gotten shots before in that manner. Moron. I was obviously kidding about the allergy shots, but strangely, I forgot he kind of did get a Kryptonite allergy shot in All-Star Superman, so my comment is actually valid.

MIKE: For the record, I adore this conversation.

MARK: I am voting, nay, on validity.

SCOTT: I have the proof. It has been written!… and drawn! But doesn’t it all really come down to the question of how Superman has sex with Lois Lane. His super sperm would blow a hole right through her fallopian tubes.

MIKE: I mean, the co-pay alone! Jeeze Louise!

MARK: What the $20 to see the doctor?  I’m sure the Planet has good medical. I challenge this.  The use of “kind of” in your statement has me thinking it was something else.

ERIC: SPOILERS!

MARK: As if you were reading anything that would lead you down this path where you would come upon this subject.

SCOTT: Superman basically was given hyper-exposure to Kryptonite to point where it killed him. His body was then launched into the sun. When he came back to life (thanks sun!) he was no longer affected by Kryptonite. That is why I say it is a bit like an allergy shot. Enough exposure to it and it no longer worked to weaken him. That or maybe Zombie Superman is immune.

ERIC: Zombie Superman vs. The Governor.

MARK: Well you said shot but then again I guess you played the Obi-Wan “from a different point of view” scenario there.  However, I am still arguing the “shot” terminology. Superman II, he was introduced to the rays of the kryptonian sun where he was turned “human”.  Good thing green crystal was still around to save his butt.

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